How to make...

I shamefully admit I got all these ideas from Shooting Eggs Production at Metacafe and Myspace and just wanted to pass along their awesomeness.

I already tried making the glowing tomato, but since I guess I got low- or nil-phosphorus matches, that project was a bust. But the burning money was a hit (especially when the jar of alcohol caught on fire)! I went on a Real Man crusade Friday evening and bought all kinds of cool stuff (like a blow torch, a black lamp, a UV bulb, fire crackers [for cannibalizing their flash powder], Marilyn Monroe and Bruce Lee matches, et c.). I just about shot myself in the upper toenail when time and time again I could not buy matches. What kind of country has hardware stores that don't sell matches! I've got all I need lined up for a couple Ninja bombs and next week is the Autumn (Moon) Festival here, so there could be some good incendiary fun.

I and my girlfriend prepared the goodies while watching The Wizard of Oz (綠野仙境), an experience which delighted her (it being her first viewing of the classic) and sent waves of goosebumps over me as I realized how great a film it is, and how important it was for my imaginative formation to watch Oz many times as a child. It's true movie magic. But I do go on.

Ну-с, так за дело! (Nu-s, tak za delo! Now to business! [cf. Crime and Punishment Part II, Chapter III])

FLASH POWDER
a) KCLO˘4 powder (potassium perchlorate)
b) Al powder (400+ mesh, i.e., as fine as cooking flour)
c) 70g KCLO˘4 + 30g Al, mix well in plastic bag

• in USA one may not own more than 2lbs. at once

IMPACT FLASH BOMBS
a) Ping pong ball, cut to hinge half-open
b) Strips of sandpaper, glued crosswise inside each ball orbital
c) Non-safety match heads (≈many), half in each orbital
d) Flash powder tissue ball
e) Scotch tape to seal ball shut
f) Throw ball hard to ground

• Don't look at the light!

g) Kill ninjas or run away


SMOKE BOMBS
a) KNO˘3 (potassium nitrate = salt peter)
b) Sucrose
c) NaHCO˘3 (sodium bicarbonate = baking soda)
d) Organic powdered dye
e) 60g KNO˘3 + 40g sucrose
1. Stir at low heat until sucrose caramelizes
2. Add spoon NaHCO˘3 (to slow reaction)
3. Add 3 spoons dye for smoke color
4. Mix well (i.e., until like colored peanut-butter)
5. Set mixture in paper tube to harden about an hour

• Place thick pen or stick in the middle to form fuse-hole

6. Remove pen/stick and insert fuse
7. Pad fuse in with cotton
8. Wrap tube in duct tape, leaving opening around fuse at top
9. Ignite

• Don't inhale too much smoke!

SMOKE GRENADES
1. Fill 3-inch piece of plastic straw with match heads
2. Seal off with a tissue covering
3. Tape a ring of large matches around the tube
4. Cut off matchbox striker pads
5. Open large paper clip and bend into a hoop (twist ends to close the hoop)
6. Tape strikers together, face inward, at the hoop's junction
7. Place strikers on the ring of matches and secure tightly with rubber band

• The fuse/pin is ready

8. Insert fuse/pin into hole of smoke bomb tube (as described above)
9. Place bomb/fuse unit inside larger tube and pad interior with tissue
10. Wrap larger tube with tissue and duct tape (leaving escape hole for smoke)

• Tape and tissue protect hands from heat produced by smoke bomb

11. Pull pin out quickly and use smoke as signal in distress... or shield in paintball


A THERMITE BOMB (great for bank heists and subsequent prison breaks)
a) Al powder
b) Fe˘2O˘3 (iron oxide = rust)
c) Mg strip (fuse)
1. Mix Al and Fe˘2O˘3 well in a plastic bag
2. Pour mixture into an ordinary soda can

• contents should form a small mound at the can mouth

3. Insert Mg fuse into the mound
4. Ignite Mg (with blowtorch)
5. Stand far back, as temperatures reach 4400ºF


GLOWING TOMATOES
1. Shave high-phosphorus match heads off wood into matchbox

• High-phosphorus content can be detected with UV light (the brighter the glow, the more phosphorus)
  

2. Pour match head shavings into tube
3. Add small amount of bleach and mix thoroughly
4. Let solution stand for 20 minutes

• Two layers will form, the upper liquid, the lower more solid

5. Extract upper layer with syringe

• It should glow faintly in darkness

6. Inject fluid into tomato every inch or so along circumference
7. Inject H˘2O˘2 into center of tomato
8. Soon the tomato will be glowing

• Do not eat it!

INDESTRUCTIBLE BURNING MONEY
1. Pour a good amount of isopropyl alcohol into a small bowl of water
2. Dip bill of money into solution with tongs
3. Place wet bill in flame
4. It will ignite but not burn

• The paper/nylon fibers absorb the water so they don't burn while the alcohol goes up in flames

• This can be done with your hand too, but be careful!