ERNIUS: How ya been lately, man?
BERTUS: Oh, I been keepin' myself busy.
ERNIUS: Ya? Doin' what?
BERTUS: Oh, you know… tryin' to make the best use of my time. Finding my center.
BERTUS: I took three personality tests online yesterday. One before lunch, two after.
ERNIUS: Wow. So…? What did you learn about yourself?
BERTUS: Well, it was different all three times, so now I'm a little scared to be left alone with myself. I mean, would you trust yourself alone with yourself if you knew you could have personality swings like that? I started as an engineer-planner, but then I was a Volvo-Saab, and then I turned out to be beaver-woodpecker.
ERNIUS: Wow, yeah, it's… pretty scary. To imagine. Learning all that, about yourself, in one day.
BERTUS: And I want to talk to my parents about why my brother used to say I was adopted.
ERNIUS: Rock on, dude.