From One Mound of Ashes to Another

Lying on my side
lying sick on my bed.
Bedding on my side,
lying sick on myself.
Smoking, I tapped my ashes
into a used-up bottle
of used-up medicine.
Smoking, smoke slid up
out of my cigarette
as a thought slid up
out of my mind.
I contemplated it
I tompenclated it
Taking that used-up bottle
of used-up medicine
Taking it and making it my own little ash tub,
wondering how long it would take
to fill it up.
It would be my little filled-up tub
of the ashes
of the Me
I shaved off my life.
A memorial to myself before
before I really need it.
A burial
in part
for a man
in part.