by Elliam Fakespeare (and friends)
+ George Lucas digitally cloned all those wookies in Episode III because more than six on the set would have sunk the budget on catering.
+ If the Hamburgler were shot while fleeing, it really would be ketchup blood on the wall. How economical.
+ Would a transsexual bully tease a transsexual sissy by saying it menstruates like a girl?
+ My uncle once told me if you play Bob Dylan backwards, it sounds like Bob Dylan.
+ You should set your watch ahead five minutes so you're not late for your funeral.
+ What does an illiterate mind reader see?
+ It's time for the world to play man-to-man time.
+ What's the opposite of "I know"?
+ If the best offense is a good defense, then a good surrender is a decent defense.
+ What's inside an empty bag?
+ My uncle, a cutting-edge Calvinist, was a sculptor at the School of Hard Knox.
+ Officer, there is, technically speaking, no such thing as a breakable speed limit.
+ If two heads are better than one, then four must be awfully heavy.
+ How do you best learn say the alphabet backwards? Turn around.
+ If what goes up must come down, why should I worry about my blood pressure?
+ These days, Who is benched for Who Cares and What is traded out for Whatever.
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