Saturday, June 12, 2004

Hard as nails

Quick Teacher Elliot update.

Our last lesson for Junior 2 at Viator is about similies and metpahors, one of the former which is "hard as nails." I explained to my lil debbils that this means "tough, strong, not afraid of pain." Then, to illustrate this more vividly, I told them a tale:

"Do you know what I do when I get home every day?" Then I waited for the usual volley of perverted answers to pass. "When I get home, I take off my shirt, paint my body black and red, and put on a scary mask. Then I turn on the fire on my stove *click click! hwoghhhhh!* - and I put my hand in the fire - for ten minutes!"

At this point, a predictable cascade of "bulls--t!" (in Mandarin) soared over my head. I stood there for a second, grimacing, acting as if my hand were in a flame (a la Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver). "I have bowl of water next to me. And after ten minutes I stick my hand in the water *tssss!* and I make pao, mi,an [ramen noodles]!"

"Bulls--t! Bulls--t!"

"No, that's what I do! Because I - am as HARD AS NAILS! Hwah!"

Call me a loon - or, to use some lesson vocab, "crazy as a loon" - call me a freak, call me a liar - but do not be fooled: my lil debbils will never forget what "hard as nails" means.

Oh yeah, remind me to tell you about the time I ate chalk as a motivational device for a student. Ta ta.

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